Today, I was sitting in church and I was listening to the sermon that my pastor was giving. I began to do some deep thinking.
What if my dream, is not what God is dreaming for me?
Just about everyone knows I love to write. I have always wanted to write novels and be a best-selling author and to win a Newberry Award. But today I was thinking, what if God has something different in store and since I decided what I wanted to do at a young age. that I can't hear what He is trying to tell me because of my stuborness. I feel as if I am very good at getting up in front of crowds and speaking. I always said I would write and speak to various crowds throughout America. Now, I'm not so sure.
When I write, I don't usually use God in my stories. The characters may go to church, but the morals of my stories, are not virtues. They are just stories.
I'm wondering if maybe God wants me to travel the world and speak, not be a preacher, but just a speaker of what God has laid on my heart.
It is the hardest thing for me to think about because writing is my dream. Writing is my passion. Writing is where I find my getaway and where I am in my world and where I control everything. Everything in those sentences are about me.
In my head, I still try to convince myself that I can do both, but if I don't let God take the reins for a while, I will never know what he is dreaming for me. What treasures he has in store for me.
It's not about MY dream for ME, it's about HIS dream for ME.
God is writing the story. I am just a character. He controls my every move. He controlls my ending. He is the author. God is writing my story. I am just a character. I am HIS character.
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